It´s been some long hard weeks with negative feelings and dark days but I manage to take control and tuned it around, one step at the time! It´s about massive action ♡
It’s been a while and I have been taking the time to take care of myself. We finished our travel tour in Uruguay, and spend time with Héctor's family then went back home to Sweden 10th of October. We visited 5 countries in 6 weeks. The whole trip was amazing but when we arrive home, I started to fall down into an depression.
With that said I stopped writing. I know at times like that I should write more then ever, not only for people who can relate but also for myself to keep myself on track.
I just felt so low and tired, that the smallest thing like getting up in the morning was super hard. It was days when I could not eat, and I just did not go out. It became a bad spiral of not taking care of myself at all, which makes it so much harder to get up again. I fall into "depression periods" very easily when I have periods of “everything is amazing” example when I travel. Coming back to the “real world again” I often feel low.
But going into depression state is completely different. Its like somebody takes down a curtain. Nothing really matters anymore, and everything is pointless and dark. Small things like taking a shower or eat breakfast is hard. I ate so bad for weeks that going to the gym was nearly impossible. So, one bad habit turns to the next. Bad eating turns to no energy, no energy turns to more time in bed and so on.
Anyway, I started to take one thing at the time, as many know by now I am either black or white, no in-between. Which is something I am working hard on daily. So, instead of trying to turn everything around in one day and using the very popular term of "I am doing it tomorrow”. I forced myself to do one thing everyday to move myself further. I started to go to the gym again, even if I could not swallow my breakfast, I went there, even if it was for 10 minutes only. It got me out of the house, and out of my comfort zone.
Everything changed when I booked a ticket on Eventbrite to a meeting called Global Woman Club. I had so much anxiety to go there because of the state I was in, but the ticket was paid, and I just made up my mind.
I felt so awkward, knowing I did not feel like talking or being social at all and I didn’t want to leave my bedroom. But I put my make up on which I had not put on for about 6 weeks. I put my heels on and took a chance and it changed my life completely.
I met so many smart and creative woman who inspired me in so many ways. I met two coaches there, which turned my whole life upside down, in an absolutely good way.
I have always gone to therapy, but going to a session with a coach who really knows what they are talking about can really change one's life. It did for me.
Basically this is what I have been doing these weeks, working on myself.
I am now out of my comfort zone, have new goals to reach, and on Friday I am going to London with one of the women I met at Global Woman’s Club.
Its so fun to see, when you really want to change you life and your situation and stepping out of your comfort zone, things starts to happen.
I am now in a state where I feel strong, happy and excited. I am on my way to something bigger than I could have ever imagine. I feel like for the first time in a long while I am on a right track.
Now, I’m going to pack for London and fix the last things I need to prepare for black Friday, and my E-commerce business. I have also started to write my book that I have been wanted to do for so long. I started to collect my old diaries from the time when I was 9. This is going to be a biography book, my own true story and goes along with my documentary “Say Something”.
Also, I have a amazing news for everyone who wants to see the documentary “Say Something”.
For those who don't know, it is about how life goes on after living in a home with abuse. I will have it here on my blog, for 3 whole days, so everyone who wants to see it, can now do so. For free. It’s in Swedish but with English subtitles
I will also post the trailer down under here ⬇️ ❤️